Thursday, March 2, 2017

Taste

I have worked you into a froth and fucked you with intention.
My hands spread you before me
My tongue takes the message to your parted and now vacant portal

Y- my tongue circles under sweet nubbin, tail trails along a well worked fold, circles entrance to paradise and burrows in deep to complete the letter.

O- a simple but effective circumnavigation trail of the widened gate to your sweetness.

U - is all about tracing your protruding passion leaving the top open for release as it rises up to greet me.

T- is all cross tongue slash pink curtain to pink curtain, the rest is decent  from clit to weeping hole with an even deeper and sweeter intrusion into the recent space vacated by my cock.

A- path is clear straight up to the seething pearl, straight down to taint with a teasing hyphen again spreading tender lips apart and leaving them a quiver.

S- a winding path of desire up through tender mound guarding sentry, snaking down and across succulent terrain only to lip the cup before driving tongue deep and in earnest.

T- completes S’s call with a response straight from bountiful pucker to now straining nub ending with a mirror image of curtain to curtain swift  traverse of pointed pink tippy tongue.

E- elicits a cursive touch with full top rounding now bursting clitorus with a swirling tail to cunts sweet opening again.

S- my last S seemed so swift and effectively at having you teetering on the trough edge of the abyss. So I repeat sweet succinct travels with savor anew.

O-  turns your insides out with extra suction as we round plumped lip porthole once again as thighs start to clench.

G- covers all folds with a slow side to side tongue waggle of goodness and has me lapping like a slobbering cur as your heat radiates all over me.

O - is all over you as round and round we go on the lickin’ bowl finishing deep as waves wash over you.

O- is all inside the bowl as we lick and swirl it from bottom to rim in sweet circular orgasmic effusion.

D - la petite mort  needs no motion as you lie in a steaming heap of quivering lusciousness overflowing with a glow of the splendor that you are.


You taste so good.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Pass Around Joy - 8 Another Ride

Perhaps the most awkward part of automobile sex is the getting dressed afterward. No bathroom to retreat to. Just side by side searching for garments that while contained in the car were often as elusive as if they were lost in a McMansion on the hill. However Joys deftness of tucking her tits away for the night back in their holders was a precision swimmers delight.  


I drove and she rolled up next to me on the front bench seat. We drove silently through the night. Her soft curly hair felt good against my shoulder. Her hands rested in my lap slyly feeling what was left of the hard-on that had so recently been deep inside her. It felt as if she was assuring herself rather than an encouragement for more. We both seemed content in our silence. In our closeness.


However she couldn’t help herself with her pointed quip to close the evening when we arrived curbside to her house..“I guess Bwana didn’t put out. It took you long enough though.” With that she exited and I enjoyed the view of her full round behind with painted on blue jeans as it swayed up the gangway to the back of her home. She playfully put both hands in the jeans rear pockets and gave me a playful backward glance before disappearing between the shadows of her neighbors house.


I turned on the radio and drove home in the Chicago night to the sounds of FM radio blasting out of the retro fitted stereo speakers on the rear deck of my sleek midnight blue Bonneville.


“Like two couches on wheels.” I said softly to no one.


When I pulled behind my coach house I could hear music playing inside. I was not sure if I really wanted or needed to see The Nanny tonight, but apparently that decision was made for me.


When I opened the door I was greeted with a waft of reefer smoke and the sound of voices within. One male, Andy’s and another female voice. Not The Nanny. Interesting.


Being a small cottage on the alleyway behind a larger front house it did not take me long to find the source. Nanny was ensconced on the bed in Lotus position, a little bleary and grinning her grin listening to Andy’s female friend relating tales of her cheer-leading days. Andy’s friend looked the part except for looking way to disheveled and stoned to make the cheer-leading team at this moment. But apparently had maintained the cheerleader look with tennis shoes, short skirt and puffy sweater covering full curled up kitten size breasts and long straight shag cut blond on blond hair surrounding blue, albeit slightly bloodshot, eyes complimenting sweet rosy red cheeks around a button nose.


A welcome distraction for an already distraction filled evening.


Andy and The Nanny laughed raucously at her story of which I had only caught the end, so I smiled and introduced myself. Gave Andy an aside greeting and parked it on the bed next to Nanny.


Apparently I had played right into her hands because she immediately swooped around me all hands and breast pressing in a horny drunk and high welcome home. Andy and Ashley had already made themselves quite a little nest of blankets and pillows in the corner of the room, which being small was not to far off from the bed. They too seemed to snuggle into each other as if on cue.


Nanny was drunk, horny and highly motivated and wasted no time on niceties. She was kissing my neck and whispering crude come-ons in my ear while already working the buttons on my shirt.


Nanny caught her breath, inhaled wide eyed, and said , “No peeking.” to no one in particular as she reached over and turned out the one light in the already dimly lit room. This small bedroom already located on an unlighted alleyway was about as close to pitch dark as a room could be so all other senses other than sight would be the focus of the evening. So I laid back and let Nanny have her way since she was apparently the cruise director for the night here at my place.


I had not seen her this high in a long time and wondered what the occasion was. In the dark room I could hear the unmistakable sound of Andy getting a blowjob from Ashley while the Nanny stripped herself to naked perfection in the dark above me. She then went drunkenly but expertly about the business of  working the button fly on my 501 jeans. Once belt and button were undone she pulled them off with a flourish. My boxers in short order were sent flying across the room to slide down the wall. She was fiery wet and ready when she swallowed me up between parted thighs and ready pussy folds which quivered over each inch. All to Andy and the cheerleader humping low and soft in the small dark coach house bedroom.


I felt Nanny’s firm stomach as she straddled me and gently rocked forward and back in a gliding sliding motion. I rested my hands on her thighs after ample caressing and explorations of her small firm tits, pausing with thumb and forefinger on fully erect pink nipple long enough to illicit an approving moan from her sweet lips. My thumbs now felt along and in the soft downy fringe  of her glorious little slit until her clit made an appearance from between her sweet snatch headwaters. She had a small delicate clit which once emboldened, like her small firm tits, sent her into a delirium of passion when stroked just so.


My thumbs caressed and pulled those pink folds apart eventually working in to feel where the shaft was entering her at startling angles due to her side and grinding fucking motion she was still rhythmically rocking to.


When I could no longer contain myself I began bucking high and hard into her, lifting her glorious bottom with me heavenward. On my heels now I raised her up and fell alternately while moving my hands to grab her full round behind while we now humped like animals.


I was bucking wildly and one downward fall found my prick Nannyless. I heard her exhale, “Whew. Try this angle on for size.” She turned and gave me the full moon access quickly grabbing me and guiding my slowly in. In her hand she paused teasingly, rubbing her still glowing clit with my knob, sliding side to side flipping her folds like the pages of our long term romance. I was enjoying her large heart shaped bottom with my hands wishing there was a bit of light to visually enhance these glorious sensations she was delivering with precision and loving skill.


Joy who?


With this glorious full back side spread access I had even better tactile feedback of my shaft slipping ever so slowly deep inside my sweet Nanny’s snatch. My fingers were fully coated and slick from our self lubing lustfulness so I sought a little more passion purchase by sweetly pushing my finger tip ever so gently into her sweet puckers anus. I felt it slowly give entrance while a moan escaped her sweet mouth.  That allowed my finger to slip into the first knuckle which cause us both to burst amid panting and grunting exclamations which made it clear that whatever what's his name and what's her name were doing on the floor beside our bed was of no consequence anymore


Her pussy purred all down my shaft, over my tightly contracting spent balls, and between my thighs her sweet golden blonde goodness flowed down to the sheets below.


Her cunt clutched me tightly while her rosebud ejected my vibrating finger tip in a final flourish. Her sweet blond frame collapsed all over me and she exhaled a one word summation in my ear.


“Show off.”


In the morning I awoke with a sleeping Nanny by my side and raging morning-wood. Disoriented I rose to make my way to the bathroom only to be greeted by the cheerleaders eyes overlooking a sleeping and snoring Andy and she focused on my morning splendor.


“Show off,” the cheerleader whispered.

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Pass Around Joy - 7 Joy Ride

I could hardly contain myself when our lips met shortly after the Reno retort. Each button on her simple white blouse gave a momentary explosion in my brain as each hole gave up it’s delicate disk. When all of the magnificent cups exuding their abundance of Joy were revealed I was nearly blinded but the whiteness and expanse of material that restrained her joyous tits. With her blouse open the soft fleshy mounds swelled over their cups. I laid kisses over the bare flesh above and even slipped my tongue to taste the salty cleavage were those two mounds of Joy met. My first taste of divine big tits was a foreshadowing of delights to come.


My hands were roiled by her curves. The expanse of sweet soft breast flesh had my eyes and hands fixated. I ran my hands over and around those luscious orbs as they flowed with soft sweetness under my caresses.


I had found the perfect parking space between two large station wagons on a short street that dead ended near one of the railroad embankments that carved up the city with engineering precision. It was hasty but effective parallel parking maneuver while Joy performed her magic on my button fly 501 jeans. Once parked I echoed that motion with a quick dispatch of the fly on her skin tight blue jeans given me purchase with in her flimsy, though equally shocking white cotton panties. When my finger found the dampness below I plunged further and hung a right turn up and around Joys inner bends and she gave a gasp of approval while losing focus on her task at hand at the gate of my button fly jeans.


By the time her jeans had disappeared along with white cotton panties, her brassiere had also joined the dustbin of my sexual history even though her blouse still lay draped around her boobs in a most theatrical proscenium fashion. Her soft round derriere flanks were pressed into the black leather of the Bonneville from my weight resting on her fleshy firm thighs, while her feet found leverage on the automobile ceiling's upholstery.


The feel of her naked globes pressed against my naked chest while my mouth drank deep from her lip ringed goblet as my pestle stirred within her moist mortar below made all the conversation that followed her Reno denunciation irrelevant. I was savoring my very first encounter with a big titted woman and nothing else mattered.


Not Nanny. Not Bwanna. Not Beverly. Just Joys bouncing breasts as we fucked to the music of sweet Detroit suspension metal on metal, flesh on flesh, screeching slapping autoerotic strata storybook tit bouncing bravado.

Tits.

Friday, December 23, 2016

And Then

First there was Rene:


Our first Christmas together. I wanted everything perfect. Parents gone for a tropical Christmas cruise. But not before we all put up the family Christmas tree in our front room. I’m home from University on winter break so we spent the last night before their departure trimming the tree with all my favorite ornaments and bubble lights.


It’s Christmas Eve and he is coming over. Haven’t seen him since Thanksgiving.


Every week we are apart I ached. I fretted too. He has a new career. He is making money. No longer the broke student I met at the roller rink last summer. I was eighteen, fresh outta high school in skimpy shorts and even skimpier halter top. Skating tall on my high white lace up roller skates. I wasn’t sure if it was the skating rinks cranked up air conditioning, or how cool he looked in his tight black T-shirt and jeans, but my nipples were hard pressed against the halters thin fabric when I accidently on purpose rolled into him on the floor. He was not a great skater and we nearly went down there in the middle of the rink, rather than later that night when I went down on him in his parked car.


The rest of that summer was a blur, and off I went to University. So instead of experiencing all the strange new boys at school, I lay aching, touching, dreaming, and fingering myself to the tune of my man back home.


His new job kept him busy with all those ambitious power suited downtown advertising women. Between his schedule and the dorm housing situation of my first year away at school we were only able to share a few furious weekend fucks in the college town’s cheap roadside motel.


But for the next four days we have my family home. Familiar, expansive, clean, and all ours. I plan to fuck him in every bed in the place. From my Daddy’s little princess canopy bed to the King Size luxury mattress that my parents sexlessly slumber upon. We are going to give every surface in this house whatfore this Yuletide season.


But first I plan on fucking him under this tree. I have the Santa hat, the peppermint striped thigh high stockings. The come fuck me high heels and I am wrapped in a festive snuggly silky red robe over nothing but my freshly showered and scented self.


The doorbell rings and I let him in.  To begin this night his “I am getting laid” grin floats up from between my sopping thighs.  The grin raises to tend to my very erect and screaming for attention nipples. They are bursting from his cavalier Cheshire Cat nibble and lick. Then his grin is under me as the enormous knob on the end of his cock splits me wide while I ride him in full view my family's hearth hung stockings. The grin goes as he comes.




Then came Debbie:

It’s been a year of his bullshit. I left a good job in the hope of removing the impediment of being co-workers stopping this “relationship” from moving forward.


Ha! 

Relationship?


Him showing up in the wee hours of the morning, reeking of booze, and me taking him into my bed, with stops on the floor, and the couch, and the kitchen table for him to fuck me in whatever twisted way his devious delicious mind thought up at the saloon while drinking with….clients.


Like hell.


Re-lay-shun-ship in-deed.


So here I am on yet another Christmas night after spending it with my mom, and sisters, and sisters boy friends, and sisters husbands, and enduring their questions, and what ifs, and what abouts, and how about so and so. Or I have the nicest guy at work…. Blah. Blah Blah.


“Oh, thanks all. But tonight I have a man coming over who is going to fuck me blue. I will be screaming his name during streaming, reaming, rippling orgasm after orgasm.  By 9 pm tonight this not so nice guy will be licking me clean and starting over again."


Why?


Because he can.


Because I let him.


Because…


He knocks. Before you can say Merry Christmas I am on my knees before him. My mouth accommodating that large luscious knob his dick works valiantly to uphold and know it will be mine again and again. Where I want it.  How long I want it. Deep into me. Deep into this Christmas Fuckfest of a Night.


I’ll confront him in the morning.




Until Toni got a tiger in her tank:


There I was kneeling between Toni’s legs. Her ass was perched nicely on the top of my thighs giving me a panoramic view of her splayed moist offering. My hands cradled her rump. Guided it where I wanted her cunt to go. She purred below. My balls nuzzled her puffy and slippery pussy fronds. Spreading her ever so poignantly with precision ball sack placement.  Lifting her ass in my hands brought my cock to perch pleasingly on the hairy chestnut patch which crowned her prominent mound. Her scent wafted to my nose enticing me.

A moment of indecision arose. 

I did not know if I wanted to admire her, eat her, or fuck her. Her sumptuous spread confronted me quizzically as her buns resided in the palms of my hands. Her tummy was soft and alabaster, Her great breasts with barely defined and irregularly shaped large patch pink areolas lay proudly displayed while creeping up towards her chin. The result of gravity from the slope created by her butt’s position now raised in my hands over my kneeling thighs. Big light brown curled hair was spread all over the mattress framing her soft blue eyed features.


She had spent the Christmas party shimmying these hips, rubbing those tits, batting those big pretty blue eyes at everybody she thought would help advance her career goals for me to raise our soon to be community property value.  At the same time she was marking her territory for every female coworker who had, or she perceived ever had, or entertained the thought of having me. Only through extreme feminine poise and cunning did she keep herself from falling completely out of that little black party dress through the night. Now that I had relieved her of that and her little black holiday brassiere and lacy color coordinated panties, I could see she had powdered herself profusely and made allowances for the generous cleavage she had displayed for all my male and female coworkers at the company Christmas party. Face, neck, shoulders and tits were made up for the festivities. The shocking red lipstick was outstanding on professionally blushed cheeks and the perfect application of foundation. Brows and lids were highlighted to set off her azure eyes.


Decision made, I moved her calves onto my shoulders and bowed in reverence for the feast I was about to partake of.


I wonder if she will taste different now that I know she is with child?



Oh What Child Is This

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Pass Around Joy - 6 Bwana

As I pressed her sturdy five foot ten Eastern European frame against the brick wall I made one more play . My hand slowly moved up the back of her skirt hoping for a satisfying grab of her perfectly toned behind while we were making out messily on the back exterior staircase of her apartment building. All Bwanna needed to do was shake her head no. I let her skirt fall and refocused on her sweet thin lips and the slightly glazed blue passion filled eyes peering through slit sparkly eyelids. Her pleasingly pointed nose teased my pug ugly bulbous Irish schnoz as her tongue played a arpeggio in my mouth.

In the distance a car horn was honking.

But progress was being made here. Just because Reno and Joy had apparently consummated swiftly in my parked Bonneville while I was working on more retrospect prey than our lovely bundle of Joy had been this, or perhaps any evening, was no need for me to break focus.

“I am not like Joy.” Bwanna quietly rasped in her first generation Polish purr as if to answer my thoughts.

“Thank goodness” I puffed as my tongue found hers again for another riff up the fingerboard of passion. Her stature and mine put all pleasing pressure points in perfect harmony. Gravity drew our intimate body parts poignantly together until her Polish progenitor called out the back screen door harshly one last time.

“I’ve must go.” she said in her enigmatic accent with a final flourish of her lips, tongue, boobs, and butt. She  slowly swished up the stairs leaving me with a peek of silky red pantie under her short plaid skirt. Red and grey were the colors of the tonight. I silently thanked her for keeping that Catholic school regalia and reflected with gratitude that it still almost fit her sophomore year of college body. Although it was much shorter than any nun would allow on her back in the day.

When I got back to my car both Joy and Reno radiated petulance, but since it was my car and I was doing them a favor I just ignored it. Reno’s house was closest and since they were obviously done neither of them complained about me dropping Reno off first.

When Reno exited I could not help but notice Joy’s very obvious display of indifference to his departure.

It had been a busy night indeed and when Joy climbed over the seat and parked her very pleasing derriere in the front seat I had a feeling it might get busier. Joy was in very tight jeans and the sight of her snug round behind was enticing considering the considerable teasing Bwanna had  given my somewhat awakened and unrequited ardor of the eve.

Joy was at my side now and like a bolt of lightning it struck me. Little did I realize that this lightening would be striking me over and over again for the rest of my life. In between paying close attention to the traffic more and more my eyes drifted to Joy in silhouette at my side. Her long frizzy Janis Joplin hair and large round glasses to match arrested my gaze. Soft pleasing features with soft round cheeks, which were often flushed and rosy. I thought how attentive she was to me during rehearsals, in between her crew duties, and scene changes while I was backstage awaiting my cue. It finally made it’s way through my thick skull that she had been spending that time with me and not Reno. Could it be.

We came to a stop light and I looked over at her. In the half dusk of car interior and street light combo my eyes were drawn from her sweet face down to the parted white blouse and cleavage formed by two immense perfect breasts. Certainly the largest breasts that any woman has sported in that passenger seat while I was driving. Thoughts of Rene’s spare, though quite delectable boob allotment went through my mind. Satisfying, but always left me longing for more substance to maneuver and fondle through our lovemaking. I knew it was just the longing to experience other fruits that made me wonder what abundance well beyond a handful or a mouthful would offer. I had limited experience of various depths and durations with other larger and differing tits. Some pleasing. Some not so much depending on outcomes, situations, temperaments, and availability. But clearly at this point in my life, if my perceptions of Joy’s pheromonal, hormonal, and behavioral signals were correct: a backseat, or front seat encounter with Joys bounty did not seem out of the question. It would be an extraordinary first for me. But I did not want to make assumptions. Not now. Not ever. Nor did I want to miss out on an experience that could lead to the beginning of something, possibly the end of something else, or if nothing else memories of moments that would warm me in many long cold winters that, if I was lucky, were to come.

I know I was highly charged from my staircase tango with Bwanna, but it was hard to tell if I would be a mere closing act for the Reno show tonight. As if reading my mind Joy filled in one blank for me.

“Reno is such a jerk!”

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

Pass Around Joy - 5 Nanny Ride

Shine On

On entering my tiny coach house we made a brief stop at the ancient fridge. We each grabbed a cold Drewrys and Nanny led the way to the small room with the large floor flopped mattress that dominated the space. Only the large wooden console Hi Fi, turntable, and equally bulky speaker cabinet on the other side of the area added to the room’s decor.

I put on side one of “Wish You Were Here” by Pink Floyd and watched approvingly as the Nanny sprawled out on the floor level mattress with her long legs splayed for comfort.

Nanny had legs that made grown men burst into tears just watching her walk by, but here tonight with the silly knee socks of the nanny uniform she was like some Mary Poppins meets Catholic school girl mash-up. Her sipping a beer, limbs all akimbo, ensconced on my bed as the music rose had me set down my beer and drop slowly between her knees. My hand traced gently over her stocking top as she said, “If you are a good boy I’ll leave the socks on.”

She knew me too well.

As my eyes rested on the white cotton stripe under her skirt. I caught the hint of soft dewy blond hair peeking around the corners of her panties. She reflexively demurred as all ladies do. Her knees came together obscuring the precious panorama. But as my eyes slowly traversed her long stretched out body, resting momentarily on the sweet ice cream scoop sized globes still uniformed for nanny duty, my eyes went to hers and she met my gaze. Her thighs relaxed and her knees parted invitingly. My guilt owed her a bit of attention that our busy schedules had precluded of late.

My attentions began just above the knee sock with a volley of kisses, little licks, and bold nibbles as gravity guided my face down her taut white thigh to that place where my index finger had moved aside the cotton barrier. Moist tender blond fringed pink lips were revealed. While the index finger held pantie at bay the middle finger ventured forth into the great moistened terrain and began to burrow into the Nanny up to the knuckle. Dipping into Nanny brought passion swiftly to bear and joy when my tongue was applied to quivering cunt lips that parted invitingly as her thighs spread wide.

Invitation RSVP’d I withdrew my finger and replaced the fully parted portal with my circling tongue creating a vortex of pleasure upon her pussy. When the time was nigh I flattened my tongue spreading cunt lips wide and lapped slowly up to her clit which responded heroically. It stood it’s ground proudly, but yielded Nanny a gasping climax. Some women are thigh clampers. Some women are thigh spreaders. The Nanny was a spreader and she spread wide when she came. Rolling her large arse in circular delight with each tremor amour.

We were not verbal lovers. We were not vocal lovers. It was all body language with the Nanny and I.

By the time “Welcome to the Machine” was playing we were as one. The Nanny’s upper lip had pulled back baring her teeth as she panted through open mouth. Her cute little nose did that thing it did when she was chewing toast or cumming. She was not chewing toast. We rolled in blissful unison until she was above fiercely trying to finish me off. How different her cunt was from Beverly’s mouth. Firm woman flesh with bouncing bottom devouring my cock with each fall of paradise.

My flat tummy and the Nanny’s toned abs over prominent mound revealed a view of the repeated introduction of my dick into her over heating twat. Each withdrawal was an opportunity to watch her pussy devour my shaft anew. We fucked until our mutual orgasm caused the record stylus to skitter across the platter from the fierce thumping we were giving the floor and each other.

We shimmered like diamonds in each other's arms sleeping to the tune of a center paper label repelling a stylus back on to vinyl all night long.

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Faces

 Gina was not giving up the controls easily. So Brittany teased the head of me with her pointed little tongue. The side view of Brittany on all fours, her red hair obscuring my view of her tongues delicious work on and around my shaft with teasing little burrows into Gina's delicious furrows was sensation enough. I enjoyed Brittany's breast, which held their pleasing round shape even with gravity tugging at them in her doggy position. Her tummy flat and rump raised would have made me wish for a position if her oral delights and Gina/s special clit friction had not made me moan out loud. 

I closed my eyes in sweet satisfaction. When they opened again I found two shimmering faces poised behind my extra stiff self both teasing up and down the shaft with flicking licking tongues. Gina's frizzy black hair a diaphonique veil when she took her turn working mercilessly down me until I felt the back of her throat while Brittany looked on. When freed from Ginas mouth Brittany brushed Gina's hair back to reveal my cock shimmering in the low bedroom light. 
  
Taking the challenge and my shimmering knob in her dark red almost maroon  lipsticked mouth Brittany ever so slowly worked her tongue on the very underside of my ponderous bulb, her tongue snaking down my member like a serpent on a sturdy tree limb. Gina, not to be idle found my ball sack irresistible and set about licking the remains of our lust while Brittany adjusted her angle of attack to indulge Gina's whimsical ball serenade, all the while continuing her sweet descent down on me. 

In addition to the oral sensation I was receiving I had the added show of two nimble twenty something year old bodies with rumps upraised and Brittany's delicacy in clear view as she maneuvered above me increasing angle and access for Gina's Ball bag sonata. 

When Brittany's long nights journey finally brought her mouth to an end her throat gagged and then Valhalla opened up and I felt my dick slide into her relaxing and accommodating throat which quickly tightened and she began working her way back up with continued tongue enticementbut at a swifter rate.  Brittany set about the task of fucking me with her mouth in earnest.

Her folds wept from above onto my chest hair and shimmered like diamonds on this winters eve, so reached for the source and thumbed and fingered her pages into a frenzy which was transmitted to the vim and vigor with which she sucked my cock. 

One finger found entrance while my thumb ran sweet circles around her clit and she rewarded me with a building suction and hands flailing up and down the slippery pole between her lips. 
Gina's tongue ran up the under of my prick and the two lovely mouths met in a deep kiss all around mmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....................... 

I was comingYet I was going. I felt the sperm flowing out of me in fiery thick lumps and savory sauces and saw it covering their lips, face an tongue. I did not mean to come on their faces but it was happening. Now? Why confused? Where am I going. I don't want to go. Not Now. Not. 

I woke to find Toni. But no book. Then the whole twenty additional years of marriage slithered into my memory. Slithers were not going to be a problem because sex with Toni was even more nonexistent. In the memories of a twenty year extension of the original fourteen year debacle it became plain that I would be here a while. 

A look in the mirror cemented the horror of what an extra decade in a miserable relationship will do to a body. Time was running out to find the notebook. To have an inkling of where I had slithered from and what I was missing faded as I melted into the nowThis was the wrong now. The now that never was. I looked helplessly for the notebook until I forgot what the notebook was and what I needed it for until I forgot what I had forgotten and forgot to look.The never was that was the memories that never were of the  contemptible marriage continuation that never should have been washed over me and erased all clues of how to ever return to the right now. 

“What are you doing?” I heard Toni ask in her toneless flat Tennessee tinged twang. 
I felt the visceral loathing rise up in me at the sound. 

It was years before a chance meeting with Tami that my cryptic and phantasmagorical notebook again came into play.